It's the end of the day and I'm tired. My bones are slow and heavy and my brain feels like it's waving around in space watching it's own thoughts drift by.
Being tired today is nice. Today it means that I was productive, that my body fulfilled it's purpose and my mind stretched itself into new positions. Sometimes all my exhaustion signifies is difficulty and it hangs around my neck like cheap gold medal awarded for making it through the day. Other times it's just my mind that is weary and my body follows along only because it doesn't know what else to do. On rare occasions my limbs are utterly incapable of helping my thoughts achieve their goals and my mind is forced to give in to physical exhaustion. Rarely do I experience this perfect balance of tired (that word doesn't seem right) and even more rarely do I have the time to indulge in it.
So this combination is pleasant, almost like being on a drug. Its a warm place where my daydreams take on a realistic edge, still under my control but only just. A wrong note, an errant thought and BOOM I'm back on this side of reality.
I feel like it's these times when I have the best thoughts. Things float up and only the most interesting, most vivid, most fully formed and understood thoughts make it to realization. All the daily "do laundry", "was that the door?", "oh I need to . . . " thoughts simply drift by, acknowledged and seen, but not followed. It's like meditation but better because it happens naturally, at a point when everything has conspired to create a perfect state of conscious. It's the time of deep realizations and small epiphanies that may or may not be fully remembered later, but that leave imprints and faint perfume none the less.
Today every part of me is tired, body and mind. That is my good thing.
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